Truth… Stranger Than Fiction: By Dave Pearce.
Occasionally I have a moment when I feel clever or bright. But with the friends I have, depending on who I am with, sometimes I feel either extremely clever or not really bright at all.
But this week, I received an email from another friend of mine that kind of summed up the way I feel about a lot of things. When I am feeling brighter during another week, I will write my own. But when there’s this kind of material out there, why try and re-invent the wheel.
So, sit back, relax, and read with an open mind and you’ll have to chuckle.
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
And mine is………
I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.